How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize