she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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