I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
