those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
