This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
