He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
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Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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