I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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