What did we do last night that was yellow?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He? As in you personified your dick?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize