Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I will pee on everything he values.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
