Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
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And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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