Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
