I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
