please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize