It's like a parade of train wrecks.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Randomize
