maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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