Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
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I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
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I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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