Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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