So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
