dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
