Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
