i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
