HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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