Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
