i barfeds in our rink
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
