I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize