so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
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Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
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But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm too high and old for this...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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