I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
