Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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