I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
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I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
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she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.