ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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