Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?