dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
This baby is an asshole
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
