yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize