I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
