Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
