Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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