moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
