The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize