just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
