just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
