I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
this just has baby written all over it
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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