you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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