are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
