some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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