Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize