The best revenge is premature balding
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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