I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
