Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
