Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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