Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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