In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Randomize
