She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
