Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
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I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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