Pappa wants mamma naked
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
