WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize