and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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