he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize