Rock
Scissors
Fuck
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
