that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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