ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
