Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
