Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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